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AYUP ME DUCKS!! CAN GHOSTS UNDERSTANDS WHAT THE CHUFF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?

JUST LET ME FEAST ON THIS NUGGET FIRST THOUGH
Can a posh ghost understand a paranormal group from t'North? You may laugh (or as they say in poshville, you may "guffaw"), but think about it, you're at this beautiful location, an old castle where Henry VIII once lived, he's there (in spirit) watching you, observing you, having a right royal look around when one of you pipes up "ayup King H, mek a noise, do summat, touch one of us mi duck". Can you imagine the startled look on his chubby bearded face, the bewilderment, the shock...  he'd probably drop down as dead as a doornail, if he wasn't already dead.

SOMEONE AT THE FOOT OF OUR STAIRS
There are many peculiar English phrases whose origins and meaning can appear obscure. For instance, thinking about where does "dead as a doornail" come from? When might one say: "I'll go to the foot of our stairs?" or what about that most famous of phrases "I'll go to the foot of our stairs, where I'll find you as dead as a doornail?"

England, the UK, Great Britain is awash with peculiar sayings, but what do they all mean? Paranormal investigators from all over the UK speak differently, talk differently thus meaning that they communicate differently with the spooks, we spoke to one paranormal investigator from Yorkshire who told us:
"We nivva av enny problems contactin t' spirits, thee allus call ta wee, even t' posh ones"
It was the same from a couple of ghost hunters from Birmingham:
"Me an' me skip try ter spek really posh on ar investigations, not many ghosts can really understan' ar accents unless they're frum ar arae of couss"
ANGEL OF THE NORTH, CLOSE TO NEWCASTLE
IS THERE ANY WONDER THERE IS SOMETIMES LITTLE CONTACT WITH THE GHOSTS? We spoke to two very disgruntled spook seekers from Newcastle and they really didn't hold back in letting us know how they felt:
"Wuh git feck aaal from the spirits when wuh gan boggle huntin. in fact ah am thinkin iv packin it aaal in, it costs a faffin fortune these days"
MAYBE IT'S TIME TO STOP BLAMING THE GADGETS, THE KITS AND THINK ABOUT HOW WE SPEAK TO GHOSTS.

Dave from Paranormal Investigators Spook Seekers (PISS) from London has a different view: 
"We golden dove Pillar and Post 'untin', london is the Mae West Drum ter Pillar and Post 'unt, its our capital city wif so much 'istory and deaf and murder and aw that. It daan't matter wot ya say ter them or 'a ya say it, if they 're there they 're garn ter do summit, that's for Bobby"
COULD YOU STOP A PIG IN A PASSAGE?
One Yorkshire chap even said that ghost hunter's from down south Couldn't stop a pig in a passage, which apparently is often used in Yorkshire by people decrying another's general incompetence AND can refer to someone who is bandy or bow-legged. "It's someone who's got a great big gap between their legs - the inference is they couldn't catch anything," says actor Barrie Rutter, founder and artistic director of the Northern Broadsides theatre company based in Halifax. "It stems from Victorian days when it was common for people to keep a pig in the back garden. Also a common disease at the time was rickets, caused by a vitamin deficiency"
COME AND "HANG OUT" IN COVENTRY!!
Then there's the old old paranormal joke: why did no one speak to the paranormal group who went to do an investigation in the 9th biggest city in England? BECAUSE THEY WERE SENT TO COVENTRY!! (I bet paranormal groups in Coventry never get sick and tired of that one). Well it may have a darker more sinister meaning than we all think, as most people know, means giving someone a frosty reception and one theory is that it originates from the English Civil War when Parliamentarian supporters would take Royalist prisoners of war to Coventry, where they would be shunned by its inhabitants BUT another theory is that it's about a fear of being hanged from a Covin tree outside the city's castle during the reign of Henry III. So sending someone to Coventry might originally have been a euphemistic way of saying they're going to be hanged. 

So, next time you're out ghost hunting and you're getting no response from the spooks, try it in a different voice, HOW DO YOU DO not AYUP ME DUCK.. or if you say AYUP ME DUCK, try saying HOW DO YOU DO? 

Have a go at this quiz, if you've not fallen asleep reading this highly informative blog post, we got 6 out of 10 or as they say in London:
"have a Hercule Piorot at this quiz, if you've not fallen asleep readin' this 'ighly informative blog Beans on Toast, we got Tom Mix aahhht of Cockle"

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